Work

I had my first full (eight-hour) day as a "lot loader" at Home Depot. Laugh all you want, but it'll really teach me the value of hard work. It's a long, hard day. I walk back and forth in the sun all day, dragging heavy carts and helping people load really heavy things in their cars. I get to be in the sun, and it's almost relaxing, walking alone. Apparently I'm the first girl -ever- to be a lot loader. I've become practically famous already >_<.
I really don't envy people who make this their life's work. It's a hard life, and it doesn't pay a lot. I mean, it pays pretty well starting, but to make this your career...it's hard. My muscles started to hurt around 10 or 11, and they reached the limits of exhaustion by noon. Then, they went beyond hurting. They actually stopped hurting. Like I said, it's a hard life, but the people I work with are all really nice and pretty friendly. It'll do for a summer job, but it'd suck as a career.

Life goes on...

"Without you
The ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows
Without you
The seeds root
The flowers bloom
The children play
The stars gleam
The poets dream
The eagles fly
Without you" - RENT ("Without You")

The world will keep going without each and every one of us. It has kept going without each person we've lost. Life goes on, but...remember them. Remember where you came from. Remember who came before you. Like it or not, they define where you are now, and, to an extent, where you go. You will eventually become your mother or father (I've already started). Don't forget who put you on this earth. They won't forget you.

Defy Gravity

"Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by
The rules of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes
And leap...
It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravity
And you can't pull me down...
I'm through accepting limits
Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost
I'd sooner die defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!" - Defying Gravity from Wicked

I was working on the porch some more and listening to music. I kept putting in random CDs, and this came on...This song is my new motto. I'm tired of listening to my mom and my parents and peers and...myself telling me what I can't do. I know what's right and wrong. Beyond that, it's my life. I should be able to live it on my own terms.
So, as a new high school graduate to others (and soon-to-be graduates), I say this...Live your life on your terms. Be a good person, but live your life like it's yours. Know your personal (physical, moral) limits, but don't be afraid to stretch them once in a while (safely, of course). Plan to have no regrets.

Life...

I've basically had the house to myself for the past few days. My mom and little borther are in Wisconsin, visiting family, and I don't have to work until tomorrow. My dad works, and my other brother...leaves me alone. He's been in and out.
We've been working on the porch, helping my dad. I'm really proud of it. So far, it looks really good. Almost professional, I think. Granted, the spacing isn't exact, but the wood is warped a bit and whatnot. Given what we have, I'm proud of it. I've poured a lot of sweat into this porch, and I got burned a bit. It's worth it, though. It does make me wonder, though, at the people and families who don't do this. The people who hire workers to mow their lawns and put up their Christmas lights. How can you be -that- busy that you can't care for your own house? My dad puts in crazy hard hours. He leaves the house around 6:30 and gets home at 7. That's more than a 12-hour day. He still finds time to mow the lawn, work on the porch, walk the dogs, or put up decorations. Think about that the next time you get home from your 9-to-5 and are "too busy" or "too tired" to do anything.

Starting Over

So...I've decided that this summer is going to be about -me-. It's going to be about me working on me. When I go away in September, I want to leave as a new person, as someone I can be proud to be, someone my parents and grandparents can be proud of. It's time for a change. Time to turn over a new leaf, if you will. ;)