10 Years

Ten years ago this morning, my grandpa died. He was 92. A lot has changed in ten years. I was a much different person when he was alive. I was still in 4th grade. I hadn't solidified my plans for my life; now, I'm halfway to applying for vet school. I hadn't been to Italy yet, which was a huge turning point in my travels. I hadn't taken any German yet, and now I want to become fluent. I hadn't started dating yet.
I didn't have a reason for my tattoo yet.

Interesting how life can change in ten years. One thing hasn't changed, though. I still wish he were still here. I still miss him. And I wonder if he'd be proud of me now. I really hope so.

Music

So, I'm stealing a quote from Dan over at Wandering with Purpose. Check his blog out. It's usually full of really awesome thoughtful things. Here's the quote:

When it comes to making music, I'm not going to complain about lengthy rehearsals or numerous musical commitments. That doesn't make sense to me. I chose this line of work the day I chose to pick up the double bass and every day after when I chose to continue playing. When you're doing what you love, it really is as simple as that.

It's really true. Music is the one thing I will never complain about. Even when my life is vomiting all over my schedule, I never complain about the music.

Even the days when everything's looming on the horizon, and I'm sure my life is about to explode, and I'm crying right before rehearsal...I get to rehearsal determined to stay in a bad mood and be unproductive...and I leave with a smile on my face. Not a grin, but a definite smile.

When it feels like everything's crashing down around me, I put on some music and cry and scream and, before I know it, I feel better. Sometimes it only takes a song or two. Sometimes it takes half a playlist. But pretty soon, I feel like I can handle my life. Amazing, isn't it?

So, have a good music. It may not start happy or work right away, but you'll feel better. Even singing along to something ridiculous on the radio or humming some random tune you're making up as you go. It helps.

Confidence

I've been noticing a really weird trend with myself. Something will happen, and I'll feel very strongly about it. Then, I'll say or do something and immediately feel like I've overreacted, especially if someone says no to my idea. Then I'll feel ridiculously embarrassed by the whole situation and want to forget it completely. What is with that? Am I really so unsure of myself that I immediately dismiss all of my convictions as overreacting? Well, I refuse to be embarrassed this time. I am ending the cycle!