Maturity

Last night I discovered that the rest of the year will be a test of endurance and maturity, thanks to my roommate. Long story really short, she treated a friend in a way I considered unacceptable over the weekend. I didn't say anything until Wednesday night, when it finally ate at me too much to hold it back. It was bad timing, yes, but I had to say it. I essentially told her that, regardless of where you're raised (America or abroad), the rules for friends should be the same. It's friends first, until they become shitty friends. She wasn't a shitty friend, but by saying she couldn't be friends with our friend as long as she was with her boyfriend was a shitty thing to do. She LOVED that.
We fought yesterday morning and evening. In the evening, I tried to say that maybe what would make rooming work is to focus on solely being roommates, rather than roommates and friends, because the friendship was getting to be too stressful. She's decided that my friend and I are not her friends anymore three times over three weekends this term. And more last term. I can't do that anymore. It is too much. So, she decided I was calling her a bad roommate. I started crying, trying to explain what I was trying to say and how I was feeling, and she stormed out (crying in front of her isn't acceptable, apparently, because she used to use it as a tool to get what she wanted from her parents. I have no tricks like that. I cry when I'm extremely hurt, which I was.).
Last night, when I finally got home, she started making snide comments about everything, with me responding in the same way. But I'm done with that. No more snideness and rudeness. I will be the bigger person. I will smother her with friendliness and politeness. She wants to play this game? Let's see her get a rise or an argument out of me. I have a 12-year-old brother. I can play this game for a LONG time. Bring it on.

Friends

Last night was pretty horrid. Not only was I trying to help my roommate through a rough time, I was having a rough night. A good friend brought up my ex, which wasn't bad in and of itself. I just got to thinking and the hurt came back. Later in the night, I started talking to a different ex and very good friend. Often, we fight over everything and can't stand each other. At times like last night, though, he was there for me and really -cared-. And that felt really good. I know that no matter what happens, some of my friends will understand what's going on completely and be there for me and care about me. He also helped me push through some of my deep-seated fears. He'll never bullshit me, and I love that. He'll give me a harsh, completely honest assessment of my life. I need it sometimes. Thanks, Donald.