The first week or so I was at school, I started to hear about IVCF (Intervarsity Christian Fellowhip). As someone who'd been craving a good youth group and a deeper connection to my religion and my God, I was really interested. I missed the first Large Group meeting and the retreat for a few reasons. I also missed a few weeks of small group, because I didn't know where to go. When I finally got together with my friends and went to small group, I enjoyed it immensely. It was the first time in years I've felt able to truly delve into a text from the Bible, at least with other people. The first time in years I've been able to delve deep into the Word with people my age. It was great. I also was able to make it to Large Group on Friday, and as I worshipped with other first years and students, I realized...I'm home. I've found a place where I can belong and be welcomed.
That's how I've felt about this whole school. Granted, some parts of it aren't perfect. No school is. But in spite of the shortcomings and potential improvements...I belong here. I'm at home and at peace here. I feel like I'm finally somewhere with true peers, somewhere I'm not judged. And it feels good. "Let peace flow like a river..." It is.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Moderation
Everything in moderation, they say. I agree.
It's ten after midnight, and I'm sitting in the suite. I've already cleaned my room thoroughly, and I'm about to continue a paper due Monday. I'm babysitting one of my suitemates. She was so trashed, she couldn't even sit up. She's been sleeping since about 9:30. The people who brought her up weren't even with her when she was drinking/smoking up. One of them has known her for years and wants to have a heart-to-heart with her tomorrow morning. The RA from the first floor promised to keep checking in...on a Friday night.
So...where am I going with this? If you're mature enough to drink, please be mature enough to stop in time to be able to take care of yourself. Drink/smoke/party with real friends. Friends are the ones who will be willing and able to take care of you at the end of the night, even if they weren't with you at the beginning.
Everything in moderation.
It's ten after midnight, and I'm sitting in the suite. I've already cleaned my room thoroughly, and I'm about to continue a paper due Monday. I'm babysitting one of my suitemates. She was so trashed, she couldn't even sit up. She's been sleeping since about 9:30. The people who brought her up weren't even with her when she was drinking/smoking up. One of them has known her for years and wants to have a heart-to-heart with her tomorrow morning. The RA from the first floor promised to keep checking in...on a Friday night.
So...where am I going with this? If you're mature enough to drink, please be mature enough to stop in time to be able to take care of yourself. Drink/smoke/party with real friends. Friends are the ones who will be willing and able to take care of you at the end of the night, even if they weren't with you at the beginning.
Everything in moderation.
Monday, September 17, 2007
People
So, events of the past week or so have caused me to start thinking a bit about people and how they interact, specifically with me. Now, I will admit that I'm crazy, and kind of an acquired taste. But when people don't even give me a chance...
Let me preface this by explaining a bit about me. I prefer honesty, at all costs. I've had way too many people hint at things and assume I'll get it. I do, but...closure is always an amazing thing. And you don't get closure from hints. Hints lead to self-doubt.
There's a guy I've been spending a lot of time with, talking and such. I actually met him through his roommate, so it would seem that I'd be closer with his roommate, right? Not really. I've tried to spend time with his roommate or talk to him, but every time, I get this feeling like he can't stand me. He even compared me to a pedophile. Now, we're all adults here. If you don't like me, say it! You don't need to be a jerk about it. I know that might seem like a really awkward conversation, and it is, but it's infinitely preferable to the awkward non-conversation. If you have a problem with me, air it. Just put it out there. I won't hold it against you. No one should.
Now that I've finished ranting, I should probably explain myself a little bit. I was just reading basstheorychaos's post about getting to know people, and it reminded me a lot of situations that have been bugging me lately, including the above. I can't and won't say I've never done the same, but when you make judgments about whether or not you'll be able to stand spending time with someone based on...a few minutes of conversation, you can lock yourself out of a lot of really rewarding moments. For instance, if I'd done as he had and decided the roommate wasn't worth my time...I'd have lost a chance at a great friendship. Is that really right?
Let me preface this by explaining a bit about me. I prefer honesty, at all costs. I've had way too many people hint at things and assume I'll get it. I do, but...closure is always an amazing thing. And you don't get closure from hints. Hints lead to self-doubt.
There's a guy I've been spending a lot of time with, talking and such. I actually met him through his roommate, so it would seem that I'd be closer with his roommate, right? Not really. I've tried to spend time with his roommate or talk to him, but every time, I get this feeling like he can't stand me. He even compared me to a pedophile. Now, we're all adults here. If you don't like me, say it! You don't need to be a jerk about it. I know that might seem like a really awkward conversation, and it is, but it's infinitely preferable to the awkward non-conversation. If you have a problem with me, air it. Just put it out there. I won't hold it against you. No one should.
Now that I've finished ranting, I should probably explain myself a little bit. I was just reading basstheorychaos's post about getting to know people, and it reminded me a lot of situations that have been bugging me lately, including the above. I can't and won't say I've never done the same, but when you make judgments about whether or not you'll be able to stand spending time with someone based on...a few minutes of conversation, you can lock yourself out of a lot of really rewarding moments. For instance, if I'd done as he had and decided the roommate wasn't worth my time...I'd have lost a chance at a great friendship. Is that really right?
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
College life...
So, it's been just over a week since move-in day, and I'm loving it. My roommate's a sweetheart, and most of my suitemates are amazing...with one exception. This exception makes me so grateful for the foundation I have in my faith and in my raising. She's been high every day since we got here, and she might already have an STD. She's eaten almost everyone's food, often without asking. When she's sober, she's sweet...but she's never sober. It just makes me think about people and their effect on others. She seems happy enough with how she's living, but she has no thought of how it affects us, and it's a strange thing to see. Personally, I'm not happy if my friends aren't, and I hate thinking I've caused anyone to be uncomfortable or unhappy. Meeting such a different personality at such close quarters is...almost unsettling, without being really uncomfortable.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Musings
Wow...It's been roughly two months (happy, Carlo? ;b). A lot can happen in that time span, apparently, both good and bad. Bad first...
I'm sick of working at Home Depot. They used to have at least two people outside at all times. Now, it's usually one (me) alone -all day-. It's a long day. Hard, too. It's hot and sunny, and people are mean. And, it's crazy busy. So, I get two or three calls. At once. While I'm trying to clean up the lot. Blegh.
Now...good.
I'm going to stop working at Home Depot on the 19th (which is in nine days...three of which I'm free). I'll have time to go shopping for glasses, buy more dorm stuff, get a checking account, get vaccines, pack, get a computer, etc. I'm pretty much the only one who's saying "we still have blah blah to do and NO TIME." My mom's still in the "you have 21 days" mode, which will turn into "you've got a weekend." Love her, but she drives me crazy.
I've finally reached a good point with myself. Earlier this summer, when I'd just gotten out of a relationship, I realized that I depended too much on men to...feel good about me. I figured, if they loved me, why should I have to. Once I was single again, though, I realized how miserable it made me. So I decided I was sick of it. It was going to change. End of story. And it has. I can believe now that I deserve to be pretty and comfortable and happy. And I am. I'm pretty damn comfortable with myself (body, mind, and spirit). I'm happier (in general) than I can ever remember being in a VERY long time, and it feels great. I can't believe I ever settled for less, and I'm determined not to go back. I love me, and I'm comfortable with me. I'm not perfect. SO WHAT!!! *grins*
I'm sick of working at Home Depot. They used to have at least two people outside at all times. Now, it's usually one (me) alone -all day-. It's a long day. Hard, too. It's hot and sunny, and people are mean. And, it's crazy busy. So, I get two or three calls. At once. While I'm trying to clean up the lot. Blegh.
Now...good.
I'm going to stop working at Home Depot on the 19th (which is in nine days...three of which I'm free). I'll have time to go shopping for glasses, buy more dorm stuff, get a checking account, get vaccines, pack, get a computer, etc. I'm pretty much the only one who's saying "we still have blah blah to do and NO TIME." My mom's still in the "you have 21 days" mode, which will turn into "you've got a weekend." Love her, but she drives me crazy.
I've finally reached a good point with myself. Earlier this summer, when I'd just gotten out of a relationship, I realized that I depended too much on men to...feel good about me. I figured, if they loved me, why should I have to. Once I was single again, though, I realized how miserable it made me. So I decided I was sick of it. It was going to change. End of story. And it has. I can believe now that I deserve to be pretty and comfortable and happy. And I am. I'm pretty damn comfortable with myself (body, mind, and spirit). I'm happier (in general) than I can ever remember being in a VERY long time, and it feels great. I can't believe I ever settled for less, and I'm determined not to go back. I love me, and I'm comfortable with me. I'm not perfect. SO WHAT!!! *grins*
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Work
I had my first full (eight-hour) day as a "lot loader" at Home Depot. Laugh all you want, but it'll really teach me the value of hard work. It's a long, hard day. I walk back and forth in the sun all day, dragging heavy carts and helping people load really heavy things in their cars. I get to be in the sun, and it's almost relaxing, walking alone. Apparently I'm the first girl -ever- to be a lot loader. I've become practically famous already >_<.
I really don't envy people who make this their life's work. It's a hard life, and it doesn't pay a lot. I mean, it pays pretty well starting, but to make this your career...it's hard. My muscles started to hurt around 10 or 11, and they reached the limits of exhaustion by noon. Then, they went beyond hurting. They actually stopped hurting. Like I said, it's a hard life, but the people I work with are all really nice and pretty friendly. It'll do for a summer job, but it'd suck as a career.
I really don't envy people who make this their life's work. It's a hard life, and it doesn't pay a lot. I mean, it pays pretty well starting, but to make this your career...it's hard. My muscles started to hurt around 10 or 11, and they reached the limits of exhaustion by noon. Then, they went beyond hurting. They actually stopped hurting. Like I said, it's a hard life, but the people I work with are all really nice and pretty friendly. It'll do for a summer job, but it'd suck as a career.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Life goes on...
"Without you
The ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows
Without you
The seeds root
The flowers bloom
The children play
The stars gleam
The poets dream
The eagles fly
Without you" - RENT ("Without You")
The world will keep going without each and every one of us. It has kept going without each person we've lost. Life goes on, but...remember them. Remember where you came from. Remember who came before you. Like it or not, they define where you are now, and, to an extent, where you go. You will eventually become your mother or father (I've already started). Don't forget who put you on this earth. They won't forget you.
The ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows
Without you
The seeds root
The flowers bloom
The children play
The stars gleam
The poets dream
The eagles fly
Without you" - RENT ("Without You")
The world will keep going without each and every one of us. It has kept going without each person we've lost. Life goes on, but...remember them. Remember where you came from. Remember who came before you. Like it or not, they define where you are now, and, to an extent, where you go. You will eventually become your mother or father (I've already started). Don't forget who put you on this earth. They won't forget you.
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