...Another chance...?

Does it happen again? Do you...Can you fall in love again? He was the first guy I ever loved. I spent two and a half years with him. Nick says it's taken him two and a half years to get past his. I miss it, not him. But I could almost go back to him. He wants another chance. Another chance at what? Do I want to give him another chance? Can I give him another chance?

I know this post makes no sense. I'm sorry. It's been a long night. It's been almost a year since I talked to him. Almost a year and a half since we broke up, and I still haven't found anything like it. Can I move on, having him in my life? Does it make me weaker than I was a year ago? That I felt then that I could move on, and now I wonder if I could? Could I move on if I had him back in my life? Do I want him back in my life? That's the main question. No matter how many times you go back, it's still the same person, the same situation. No matter how many times you go back, it's not going to change. It just won't. I can't deal with that. Not yet. I'm not strong enough yet or over it enough yet. Not yet.

***Edit***
Forget all that. He is no longer a part of my life. We've both known it since before we broke up, but I'm finally saying it. He is in the past. I'm starting this year afresh. I'm tired of being a pessimist. So what if it's half-empty? The glass still has water in it! So, I'm ready again to just take every moment and every day as it comes. I'll do my best, and I WILL be happy. It's going to be a good year. I'm ready.

P.S.: I hereby swear to stop being frustrated if a guy doesn't immediately pan out. Patience is key. Besides, there's one who's kind of starting to look good. It's going to be an amazing year.